Why Would You Go Anywhere Else? Check It Out For Yourself, And You’ll See That The Competition Just Doesn’t Measure Up ;)
For just $19.99 shipped within the USA, you can send a glorious bag of dicks to an unsuspecting friend, family member, co-worker, neighbor or whoever you want!
Not only is our package amazing, but it comes disguised as a luxury gift from a fancy jewelry store. The recipient will be expecting some kind of amazing expensive gift, only to find a bag of candy dicks staring back at them when they open it up! If that weren't enough, our Bag Of Dicks literally plays an obnoxious jingle. Wondering what a singing bag of dicks looks like, well check out the video below!
Talk about a double-sided deal!! Not only are our dicks
delicious edible, but our Bag Of Dicks jingle will get locked into the back of your recipients subconscious for eternity! Once they hear the "Bag Of Dicks" Jingle they won't ever be able to forget it!
We hired two MIT scientists and a Grammy award winning song writer to collaborate on our "Bag of Dicks Jingle". Then we found an amazing vocalist who has just the most perfectly awful voice to sing it. The end result is a fifteen second "dickie" that once it passes into your brain, it stays there forever!!
Trust us, nothing will surprise and delight the recipient of your bag of dicks (and anyone within 20 feet) more than not only getting the surprise of a literal bag of dicks with a personalized note in the mail, but when they hear the jingle, they're guaranteed to have an eargasm!
Seriously what are you waiting for? You could order an underwhelming ordinary bag of dicks from one of our flaccid competitors for the same price, or you could quit dicking around and get on this deal now before we’re consumed with orders.
Have questions or requests, please email us before you order. Once an order is received your Bag Of Dicks will be flying through the air on route to its new home. Because of the popularity and the complexity of our exclusive (patent pending) Bag Of Dicks, we currently can not do overnight or express shipping.